Week 8. Fear.

This week, the topic is fear. What scares me. What I’m afraid of? It’s a very interesting topic in the psychological way. I’m afraid of death, of cancer, I’ve acrophobia and claustrophobia. But the biggest fear is to being alone all my life. That picture shows me, in my bed. The other side is empty. And that isn’t a very good feeling.

The oldest and strongest emotion
of mankind is fear,
and the oldest and strongest kind
of fear is
fear of the unknown

H. P. Lovecraft

Link 1: Movies of Myself. Fear.

Here’s the video, which I’ve made for that project.

Looking Back.

Nearly twenty years ago I was born. It wasn’t something special. But twenty years later, many things have changed.

I had a wonderful childhood. My parents always wanted the best for me. My sister showed my “the dark side of the world”, but she was always there, in time of need. The elementary school was more or less lowbrow, and grammar school started good again. But I didn’t like the class I was put into. I got bad marks, failed, and came in a new, a better class. I got real friends for the first time. And that’s a good feeling.

With eleven years I felt in love with my sandbox love. It hurt, when she walked away with someone who was called a friend. It was my first heartsickness and one of the worst. With thirteen I found another girl, with whom I wanted to live till my end. Nothing has happened, but it was a very good lesson for me. And then, I fell in love into a girl, which was maybe interested in me, but I was to … oafish to act normal. This last three years. And this time, the pain was unbelieveable. Now, she’s a good friend. Then I met my best friend, Elisabeth. With her I walked through the cloudiest days and jumped into the sunniest fields. After the first liaison, everything seemed to split up. But we are still best friends. And that shows me the power of a great friendship.

Then, I met my exgirlfriend. She was wonderful, it was amazing, how she looked at me. With her smile and her eyes. Everything seemed perfect. Then the end. The next try. The real split-up. It took a long time, till I was able to get over her. Now, I think that I’m fine with her. I would like her in my circle of friends, and maybe this will somewhere along the way.

Now, I’m 19 years old. In May, I will become twenty. Two decades Dominik. An interesting thought. There will be more of that retro-stuff. It’s funny and interesting and disturbing to look into the past.

Week 7. Flowerage.

A picture of a flowerage. Hey, it’s February. An in the moderate climate, it still cold. And therefore I had no chance to take a picture of spring flowers. And therefore I took my mother’s orchid. I think, that are one of the most wonderful flowers.

Rosen, ihr blendenden,
Balsam versendenden!
Flatternde, schwebende,
Heimlich belebende,
Zweiglein beflügelte,
Knospen entsiegelte,
Eilet zu blühn!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Week 6. Song Interpretation

An interpretation of a song. In one picture. It’s very difficult, to do this. I came to the lake the first time that year. That pictures shows silence, I think. And so the picture is based on the song “Stiller”, by the German band “Wir sind Helden.” And that song is based on the novel of Max Frisch, the famous author.

Was nützen mir die schönen Gedanken
Die zwischen all den Anderen versanken
Weil das Herz aller Gedanken aus Blei ist
Weil alles was sie finden vorbei ist

Stiller – Wir Sind Helden.

Round Here.

The end. And the beginning of something.

Today, it’s Ash Wednesday. No meat at all, only fish and cheese. Well, this isn’t an horrible idea for me. I like fish and I like cheese. It’s a day in my routine. Nothing extraordinary. And after my work at my community service, I came home. My relatives, living kilometres away, came to us suprisingly. It’s was wonderful, to see them, my aunts, my uncle … and my old grandmother.

And afterwards, I went to my last therapy. I wasn’t quite sure, if it’s very intelligent to go every week to the psychologican. I don’t have any topics to talk about. And so we finished everything and revued the last five or six hours. The therapy was very important. It helps me, to accept my attitudes, and myself as a wonderful person. And I think that’s a good feeling. I was able to see my role in my family, was able to get over everything, which happened after the death of my nephew and I was able to finish loving my ex-girlfriend. The therapy was great. I’m not quite sure, whether I should be happy about the end or not. Well.

Today, Austria plays again Germany in a soccer match. We (Austria) lost 3:0, although we played wonderful. It’s one of the last matches till the beginning of the European soccer Championship in Austria and Switzerland. I think, it will be great to be part of it. Maybe I’ll write something here, to tell you, what has happend jet. But you’ve to wait for another 123 days. But maybe it isn’t very interesting for you. My American readers don’t have any chance to take part, and my readers of Great Britain lost there chance. Well. You will see.