Strawberry Wine

Welcome back in my life. My last working day at Thursday was enourmosly exhausting. That’s the reason why I was able to sleep more than ten hours. And now I’ve muslce ache, I’m still tired, but the weekend has some other plans with me.

Today I’ll drink my first glogg of the year at Lukas’ place. Although the snow has gone again, the temperature is still very low. Tomorrow, there will be a prom of a regional school, and I’ll be there. And yeah, I hope, that it will be funny.

The last days, I wasn’t able to do very much. But on Wednesday, I was able to met Sarah again. And after a coffee, we both met our former Latin teacher, with which we spent some interesting hours at a Chinese restaurant. Well, it was to most interesting day / evening // night of the week until now.

But now, I have to go, I have a date at Lukas’. My father is now in America, for the second time of his life. He will stay in Las Vegas, and then his group will go to Atlanta (Georgia). Well, I’m looking forward to the time, when I’m 21, and I’m able to play at the casinos and drink alcohol. Like I’m able to do in Austria and nearly the rest of Europe.

Well, then good bye, and for all the Americans, who read my blog. Good morning. I now spoke to my father (the advantages of a networked society). And well, now, I’m looking forward to my first glogg.

You Bought My Life. It Was Cheap, Wasn’t It?

Tearless I go through my life. This total routine through the last three months becomes more and more normal for me. The community service seems a little bit senseless and I get to know, that my boss is a little bit arrogant. And you must know, I don’t like arrogant people.

My life becomes a little bit uninteresting. I wasn’t able to see much friends in the last days. And I called nobody, and nobody called me. I normally come home at 5 pm, sit in front of the notebook till 9 pm and then I go to bed. And the other day, I woke up at half past 5. What a wonderful life, isn’t it.

Yeah, this sounds a little bit melodramatic, I know, but it’s the truth. No, well, my life isn’t completely senseless, but … hey … it isn’t that funny, exciting life I lived at the age of 16. Yeah, time’s changing. Unfortunately.

Maybe I’m able to change all that routine in the following days. I really will try it.

Fresh Air. Cold Wind. White Snow.

When I looked outside the window, on the last Saturday, my whole life was white. Snow everywhere I tried to look. But, by the way, it’s still fall. One or two degrees over zero. And at night even under zero.

You must know, I love the snow. It’s the best time of the year. Drinking warm teas (sometimes with alcohol). Snowball fights and going skating. Aaaarh. I love this time. But well, it’s getting a little bit warmer. And the snow is melting. But hell yeah, I hope it’s getting an enourmosly cold winter. With so much snow, you can’t believe.

If my dream comes true, I will show you a picture of it. Well. Yeah. The best time of the year.

Bottomless Seas.

And I’m lying here. And you don’t look at me. You haven’t looked at me for a long time, and you started thinking, that I’m a part of the inventory. Just a part of it, but totally senseless.

And I open my eyes. And you’re breathing. We share looks, but but I stare into space. Everything in you is untenanted. And while I look in your eyes, you sucking me out, slowly. I feel it. I feel. But I’m feeling untenanted too.

And I stand up. And you’re pushing me back. With such a power. You hit my shoulder. You don’t care. You don’t care at all.

And I’m looking around. You’re looing to me. In this snowfall. You and Me. Both. A unity inside of this chaos. You aren’t a part of me anymore. I am. And I feel the cold snow upon my shoulders.

And I leave my room. You stay. I lock the door. Lose the key. You keep unlocked. And although I’m happy, that I’m able to go, I know that I’ve to come back.

And I’m sitting in the train. You are on the other side. You don’t speak to me, and I’m listening to music. Or I read. Or I write. I only try to think on something different. But my thoughts stay at this one person.

And I start working. You’re everywhere. When I’m surfing through the internet or when I keep watching my e-mailbox. So many memories. Saved mails. Guestbook entrys.  Blogs, videos. Pictures. Damn. You’re everything.

And I’m looking forward to go to bed. And you are with me. I normally start writing. Acting professionally. With a book. Or a notebook. And the words come into my mind. Words build in my head. You too.

And I try to turn off the light. But you stop me. It’s too early. The thoughts haven’t come to an end. And I write again. At the end of my words, there comes a point.

And I leave this world. And close my eyes. And you’re breathing in my ears and you are touching me at my neck. It’s cold. I’m trembling.

And I’m lying here. In this great house. You are probably sleeping. In your appartement. Maybe you haven’t thought of me for a long time. As I do. I haven’t thought of me for a long time too.

And you ask me, why I don’t get you out of my head. And I ask you: How? How shall I do this? How? You are everywhere.

Having A Day. Off.

Today, I’m having a day off. Well, no. I take off this day, because I have my first checking of the so-called “Mehrphasenführerschein”. That means, that in the year after you’ve got your driving licence, you have to do those checkups three times. You certainly can’t lose your licence, but it’s some kind of check. And that at 8 am.

The rest of the day, I don’t want to do much more than nothing. I’m totally tired, and well, yeah. I’m still on the way to get ill. And unfortuantely it’s a week, where I can’t be ill. There are too many fixed dates. Next week, it would be perfect.

But well, I still don’t have any internet access at home. This text was written on Wednesday. It’s …. horrible. Can you believe me?